One week in Nashville, States

明早就飞回温哥华了,在美国的一周真是大开眼界。巨大的红砖房,巨大的,我只相信在电影里才出现。难以想像大片大片的土地,私有农场,如同城堡似的豪宅。我没有想到,更是难以想像自己亲眼看到的和身临其境的美国的财富。在城堡似的豪宅里晚餐,坐在只有在电影里看到长长的、摆设考究的餐桌一端,站在这些“巨人”前分享我的故事,分享上帝在我生命中的奇妙作为,只有神给我这样的信心和勇气。

一周的课程,建立了更多的信心。原来世界这么大,原来有那么多奇妙的故事,原来我们在上帝里可以有如此大的梦想,原来我们都可以彼此相爱。

Carole,
可以说形影不离一周的生活,我惊喜更是感恩能够有这样一位如同母亲,如同挚友,如同导师的人在身旁,在这片陌生的土地上,关怀我,倾听我,教导我,让我有安全感然而又挑战我生命的成长。

我爱上了Every
Nation的人们,因为他们这么的爱我,这些都是连我想都不敢想的“巨头”,但当我走进他们的生活,看到了他们有如此谦卑的灵,服侍那最小的——一个从中国来仅仅 二十出头瘦小的女孩。我看到了真正神的仆人,上帝的管家。我还是不喜欢应酬,不喜欢和一群刚刚认识的成人闲聊,可是,这些爱我如同爱自己女儿一样的“爸爸们”,看重我,看着我的双眼,我看到了信任,我看到了关注,我看到了爱。

尽管,也许有很多尽管,但是一周的时间,上帝的祝福已经令我和Carole无比感恩。每个人,每个家庭,每个国家都有缺陷,但是我感谢神的爱使这些缺陷都霎时间变的完全微不足道;我感谢上帝他的应许从未改变,他爱我,更是透过他的百姓来爱。


Sooner, we will fly back to Vancouver. My eyes have
been widely opened, seeing giant houses which I only can imagine in the movies. I
can never imagine I stayed and had dinner in the house seemed like a castle. Even
more, I can never imagine I sat with those spiritual giants and wealthiest business
men and women and doctors, sharing with them my story, the story about what God
has been doing in my life. God alone can grant me this confidence and courage.

One week training helped us building so much
confidence. I saw how big our world could be; I heard considerable amazing
stories; I was convinced we can have purpose beyond measure; I believe we are
able to love one another no matter what color you are, no matter where you are
from, we are able to love for God is love.

Being with Carole for an entire week, I am thankful
for having her as a mother, a close friend, and a mentor along the side on this
foreign land. She cares about me, listens to me, and imparts to me, which
challenge me to grow in security.

I fell in love with Every Nation people, for they
love me so much. I can never think of stepping into those spiritual giants’
lives, witnessing their humility, who serve the least—a small girl from China. I
saw the true servants of God; I saw the good stewards of God. They love me as
father loves daughter. Looking into my eyes, I saw the trust, the concern, and
the love.

Though there are many flaws, God’s blessings poured
out to Carole and I for a week. I am grateful for everything God provides. There
are flaws in everyone, every family, every nation, yet the love of God covers
all. I am grateful for His faithfulness and promises which never change. God
loves me and loves me through His people.

 

I am SO BLESSED!

当我没了一切,神的爱与恩典浇灌令我感激涕零!

When I have nothing, the love of God and His grace overwhelm me!

仅仅一周,上一周已经得到很多祝福,弟兄姐妹的帮助让我能够及时缴上房租。MPD training越来越近,我也知道我不能再逃避,因为我什么都没了;我知道我不能再逃避,因为这是上帝给我的作业,不,这更是神透过我将祂的爱与祝福传播。

早晨很早就被上帝叫醒,我安静聆听。在网上竟看到美卿,我们用msn语音聊天,听到她的声音我不能再高兴了!她还是那么可爱、热情、充满活力,总是能让我开怀大笑。我们分享着彼此的生活经历,我们都如此被神祝福,我们彼此鼓励。仅仅听到她的声音,我就已经高兴地要跳起来,她是那么亲近的一个朋友,虽然她是韩国人;她是那么一个爱神又在我生命中影响如此之大的姐姐、知己、伙伴、带领者,她的句句鼓励都是让我重拾信心的安慰,她喜乐的情感感染到远在万里之外的我。

周日和朋友见面,上帝向我显明爸爸是爱我的,你们是爱我的。可是,请你们不要对我撒谎,请你们不要用那善意的谎言带我走入空中楼阁。也许这是你们爱的表达方式,可是,我宁可知道残酷的真实,我渴望真实。谎言带给我伤害,令我惧怕,你们爱我,请你们不要让我惧怕。

I met a friend on Sunday. God showed me my dad is indeed loves me. He loves me, you love me. But, please do not lie to me; please do not lead me to the illusions by white lies. Maybe this is your way of love, but again, please do not lie to me; I’d rather acknowledge the cruel truth. I long for truth. Lies break my heart. Lies bring fear in me. You love me so, please do not make me fear.  

回到教会,我在敬拜中自由的歌唱赞美神。Praise and worship God freely.

Take my heart and form it,

take my mind and transform it,

take my will and conform it

to Yours, to Yours, O Lord!

 

The captives are set free!

We’re free in You!

 

我只愿感恩,当我没了一切时,我的弟兄姐妹,我的这些家人,他们带来上帝的祝福,百倍、千倍的超过我所想所求。

当我胆怯时,上帝感动他们,他们向我走来,伸出援助的双手,我MPD 的表格一个个被填满;当我无助时,上帝感动他们,他们向我走来,将沉甸甸的祝福放在我手中;当我倒空自己,上帝充满我,带领我的话语,带领我的心,将喜乐和平安放在其中。

我惟有感恩,你的爱长阔高深;我惟有感恩,你的恩典超乎想像!

 

Wait upon His Promise

当我没了一切的时候,神丰盛的恩典令我感激不尽!

I haven’t really bore hardship especially financial short
all my life. Yet right now, I am officially broke. Only 36 bucks are in the
bank account. I have no idea how I will survive in Vancouver. Am I supposed to
get free meal at downtown east? Am I supposed to borrow some from friends? I am
asking God how I could live. I felt frustrated when I have no money for the
first time.

Just before I came to Vancouver, God has promised me that “I
am your provider.”

I sat alone on the bench after church service, wondering how
I will pay the rent this month. “God, where can I get enough money?”  G. came and tapped my shoulder, then passed
me a red envelope. He and C. are my dearest parents in Vancouver. I was surprised.
God is answering my prayer right away. Though I still needed some to get enough
to pay the rent, C.Z. who is always a caring brother lent me some that I couldn’t
thank him enough. For he already helped me so much.

Tuesday, I met my best friend. We hanged out for almost a
whole day, and she lent me some so that I’ve got enough to pay the rent.

A friend called me, giving me much information on
job-hunting and MPD. I just got two interviews this week. God gave me courage
to call mom with whom I haven’t talked for over a week.

“When I am poor, you fill me full.” God sent dear brothers
and sisters helping me out of my predicament.

Life Group, we shared what God has been teaching each of us
and what we need from Him. God revealed me that I doubt. I doubt whether He
will provide me to live. I doubt whether He loves me truly. I doubt how I will
get over this poverty. But why would I doubt? My God is a great God; my God’s promise
never fails. I am praising God for I am poor. I have been experiencing poverty
which I never knew. I am praising God for His grace and mercy which are beyond
measure. I am about to take a huge step in my life. It is like walking on the
sea with Jesus. Without faith, I will sink. I need God to grant me faith by which I will live other than
living by sight.

Once again, God reminded me:”See, you shall call nations
that you do not know, and nations that do not know you shall run to you,
because of the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, for he has glorified you.
(Isaiah55:5)”