L.O.V.E.

爱是恒久忍耐,

当把话说了百遍后仍然忍耐。

爱是恩慈,不嫉妒别人,

无需比较,放下争竞,

亦不模仿抄袭别人。

爱是不张狂,不自夸。

它不自我炫耀,不会说:

这关系全靠我的付出;

它不强调我为这关系成就了什么。

它不高傲至难以寻求宽恕,

它不会说:

没有我,你根本不存在。

爱从不粗鲁,或态度恶劣,

总是看别人是神美好的创造,

是神一份特别的心意。

爱不自私,不求自己的益处。

你为他而活好,他为你而好活,

而你俩都因神而活,

只有如此,你才寻见自己。

爱不轻易发怒,不计算人的恶,

它不会及时犯难。

它不会说:好了,这是最后一次;

爱总是饶恕,爱总是坚持,

它甚至无需依赖对方的爱。

爱不把人家的错失记账。

爱能忘掉,

给对方重新来过的机会,

它不会用指摘和偏见压扁对方。

它不把愤怒之言死吞,

也不用沉默逼使对方行动,

它不以恶报恶,还以颜色。

爱不会以恶事为乐,只喜欢真理;

它不会掩藏过失,

它会澄清,疏解和饶恕。

爱不会因息事宁人而出卖真理,

它不会不公道,

因为没有真理就没有真爱。

爱没有不能面对的事,

它能够面对它不了解的事;

它能够安身于无法改变的环境,

它能够面对不可逆转的结局。

爱凡事相信,

接纳对方有时说话会操控;

爱不尖酸刻薄,

它说什么就算什么。

爱有无限的盼望,

从不放弃对别人的盼望;

当话题触及性格的限制,

或是遗传的劣质,

爱能把上主大能改变的爱与它们抗衡。

爱凡是忍耐到底。

它能包容那不可能,

它能承受对自己不公的事。

当生命范范都瓦解崩离;

家庭、信仰、职业、朋友,

爱如大盼望般在废墟的上空绽放。

爱,是永不止息;

永远,爱都不止息;

止息,爱永远不会。

爱无止境。


 quoted from  Ulrich Schaffer," Love Reaches Out: meditations for People in
Love"

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Who am I that you cast your eyes on me?

 
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am yours..
I am yours..

Milestone & 感恩的心

还是决定将这个重要的事件记录下来。

我一直都非常热爱阅读,同样的热情也在写作上。只是自己懒惰,总是拖延,然后那霎时的灵感就被我的拖沓淹没殆尽。

总之,一切都要追溯到九月底的那次面试。

在网上看到招聘的信息,于是毫不犹豫地发了简历。之后很快便接到可以面试的通知。 因为每天发出很多简历,当我接到通知面试的电话时还不知道到底是什么地方。在网上查了信息,原来是一家有二十年历史的教育中心。总之,我带着信心和勇气,还有盼望前往面试。当我首次看到这家教育中心,我便深深的喜欢上了,在此之前,我已经有过多次在其他地方的面试、投简历的经历,而这个一下子吸引了我。面试很顺利,虽然经验不足,有些小紧张,可是我觉得还是给他们留下了好印象,而且也给了我提醒——好好准备面试。一周后,我接到电话,通知可以进行第二轮的面试。我开心不已,下决心要认真准备。同时,我知道很多人都在为我祷告,鼓励我,祝福我。这一次我的祷告也更加清晰,向神明确地祈求,更是求他的旨意成就。

第二次的面试那天更是令我印象深刻。在次之前不久,胃痛使我的健康直线下降,看医生,抽血化验,不过,还要顶着疼痛去面试。我想我准备的还是比较充分。半个小时很快过去,我们甚至聊得十分开心,那句“机会都是给有准备的人”实在没错。感谢神给了我平安,勇气和自信。我充满喜乐的走出了大楼。

坐公车去UBC见朋友,偶遇一位来自上海的老奶奶,因为不懂英文,她拉着我问路,然后就非常热情的跟我拉家常。我有些手足无措,老奶奶亲切的拍着我,拉着我,这是在西方甚至我在中国和陌生人几乎不可能发生的事。我非常在意私人空间和身体接触,可是她扑面而来的热情和亲切让我也放下自己的限制,一路上我僵硬的坐在她旁边,可是从心里到脸上都堆满了笑容,我能够深深地理解她所讲的在异国的孤独和忧闷,不断地鼓励她要喜乐,祝福神赐她平安。

一次简简单单的偶遇,我看见神的爱。是他的爱让我们能够走出自己的小世界,虽然起初蹩脚但是满有喜乐的拥抱生命。一句简单的问候,一个微笑,一双手的扶助都能够祝福另一个生命。我想起那首歌唱到:“献上我的生命,带希望入人群中;付出我的关怀,将温暖带入世界。”

我仍旧忙碌,递简历,面试,1016日周五有两个面试,胃痛还纠缠着我,撑着不适的身体,心中不住地祷告,平安的度过面试。中午接到一通电话,那个教育中心愿意聘请我工作,在电话中我极力压制自己的兴奋。当我放下电话,那情不自禁的开心从里到外,我忍不住的傻笑,心中充满了感恩。那开心是无与伦比的。经历了一个月的煎熬,而我,又从来没有真正意义上的经历去找工作。很多人都告诉我人际关系网很重要,很多工作机会都是从关系而来。我的朋友很多,关系也不少,只是我太不会也不情愿更不知道如何通过关系找到工作机会,我迟迟犹豫,而这份工作,是单单自己从无到有,到面试,一个人努力、勤奋、并且抓住机会得来的。那种成就感绝对是丰富的。更令我感恩且学到的是,惟有神是我的倚靠,他的预备和赏赐远远超乎我的期待。

总之是太开心了,一定要庆祝。胃痛已经不能把我的笑容偷走。和朋友晚餐,因为神的怜悯与恩典我们依旧是姐妹。晚上和Catherine看了晚场的电影“where
the wild things are”,非常感人,更是看到上帝的影子。午夜后,我们仍旧坐在她的车里,注视着夜晚城市的星星点点,这是山城的美丽之处。我们纯粹地分享,纯粹地倾听,神的爱与恩典包裹着我们。我的语言贫乏,感恩的心呼之欲出,无以言表。

朋友,家,工作,爱与关怀,信心,勇敢。神的恩典足够我用。Grace
is enough for me!

look forward

After a
full month, I finally got a job. After a four-week job-hunting, I
eventually am employed. As soon as I got the phone call from the company, I
couldn’t help being exhilarated with big smile on my face and joyously smile in
my heart. I couldn’t help calling best friend first to tell her the good news.
Even though there was time to wait, to persevere and meantime pain creeping in
my body, I reaped what I sew. A new start is ahead. I can’t help praising God
and giving thanks to Him that has it not been Him I couldn’t went and sent many
resumes boldly to “sell myself”; has it not been Him I couldn’t have confidence
and wisdom to go through plenty of interviews.

There has
been much happening this past month. My life seemed to take another route with
uncertainty. Nevertheless, God alone leads me to this point today full of joy
and peace despite the tears and sorrows to smile to the unknown adventure.

There has
been so much pain as much as joy emotionally, spiritually and physically. But
this faithful God promised to be with me even carrying me going through the darkest
valley and sustain me in the furious storm.

God one day
sent an angel to remind me He deliberately put the smile on my face as well as on
my heart, which I should keep and remember. The beautiful smile He gave to
me is pure joy and peace.

God teaches
and imparts into me through a young lady who is my best friend here, who is
very much special that every time being with her just merely feeding my soul. Through
her, as a spiritual partner, God kept giving me revelation and deepening my
relationship with Him as well as with this dear sister.

God never
stops or fails to wipe out my tears, to comfort me and make me rest in His
arms.

Father, I
choose to obey not to argue or have excuse.

Father, I choose
to belief not to doubt.

Father, I choose
to live by faith not by sight.

Father, I choose
to look forward not behind.

Father, I
choose YOU not this world.

thinking about my nation

     Lately, I somehow
throw myself into reading “Wild Swans:Three daughters of China” by Jung Chang. The feeling is complicated. There seems
a whole lot of history I haven’t had no idea. I always wondered what life
exactly my grandparents and my parents they lived in the past 50 years. They barely
told me tough things happened in their time.

     I assumed they were pretty much
lived in peace. However, what I have been reading from “Red China Blues” to “Wild
Swans” telling a whole different story. My heart is torn by the striking things
described in the book. There seemed no humanity being respected and people’s
life just view as a cheap object. Blood shedding, deception and restrained environment
all are unbelievable to me. Their life during that time is not just hard but
also full of lies, and soul-torturing which is way worse than physical torment.
All I knew and learned from textbook and Chinese media is glorious past.  Even though Chinese people have had hard
lives during Japan Invasion and afterwards Civil war till modern China, they
all rise up in oppressions regardless of tribulations, they all believe in the
government and finally we have today’s People’s Republic of China. However,
things seem not so simple and straightforward. I couldn’t imagine besides the
hardship, people’s souls were trampled.

    The whole nation once was trapped in
lies. I am not sure if the status quo is well enough. Despites the hard times,
what more frightened is no freedom, NOT AT ALL. I mean, this is just killing me
to death. I deeply love my country and admire the DNA of tenacity, but all were
in deceptions and no freedom. It’s sobering to learn that people share same
blood on this land once in such demonic state.

    I am still reading and curious
about digging more. I understand there are always personal biases. I may not
able to touch the absolute truth yet I dare to get more insight to reflect
today’s China and Chinese people for where I’ve grown up and been raised up and
educated, most importantly, they are my kinfolks.

i believe it

Praise YOU in the storm

 

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I’m with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I’ll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can’t find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I’m with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth