Everyday looking into the mirror, I feel frustration and sadness that I can’t help getting old. one crazy thought crossed my mind–I don’t marry forever, after got PR. Go back to china maybe xinjiang to serve even later go to other difficult place till I die or Jesus comes. I can’t wrap my mind of the fact I am getting old. I can see the evidence everyday I look into the mirror. That girl is no longer the same girl I remember. The lines, the black eye, the traits of aging. I am not young and beautiful any more. I can’t share this with any body except God who will never forsake me no matter what I look like. It does sound sad, doesn’t it?